A year ago I went through an excruciating heartbreak. 3 months after that, I met someone at a summer program. The physical tension between us was strong, the social/emotional chemistry was off the charts, same politics, same education, everything aligned on paper.
After the summer, we kept in touch via text and sometimes long FaceTime calls where we’d cowork but spend more time chatting. Throughout, there’s playful flirting, hearts being sent, small but sweet compliments (you have a nice laugh), we both independently expressed a desire for marriage in the near future, etc.
After almost a year of this, he begins mentioning visiting me this summer as we live on opposite coasts. I ask if he’s serious and he says yes. I take this as a sign and a couple weeks later ask him to clarify his feelings for me. He first tries to brush me off and says he’s loyal to someone else so he can’t give me any clarity, we should just move forward. After I press him, he says I’ve misunderstood our relationship and it’s not romantic. I’m just extremely disappointed that he couldn’t even clearly or directly reject me. I also struggle to believe he really has someone as he has repeatedly stated he didn’t have anyone and he wanted to settle down soon. I’m a little sad but also feel a bit numb/shocked it ended this way, and feel like I don’t have a real right to be sad.
I wanted to let this connection develop organically, but feel like I just let things go on undefined for too long and ultimately contributed to me getting hurt.
TLDR: Finally asked my friend/flirtationship about his feelings for me and he refused to give me a clear answer out of “loyalty” to someone else, then when pressed he said our dynamic wasn’t romantic. I feel like I don’t have a right to be sad.
